The Penguin, The King, The Woman's Best Friend and The Fleshy Tripod

Hugh The Beautiful Penguin, Stephan The King Of Mexico (in disguise as a commoner), Harry The Woman's Best Friend and Ben The Fleshy Tripod were at large on a hill. They had with them a tall, handsome flag of blue and yellow which they stuck in the grass near some daisies. They christened the hill "Daisy Hill". Hugh The Beautiful Penguin, Stephan The King Of Mexico and Harry The Woman's Best Friend began setting up their beautiful tents on the hill – "Daisy Hill". Ben The Fleshy Tripod already had his tent prepared.
"Good gravy," said Hugh The Beautiful Penguin.
"Yes it is, isn't it?" agreed Ben The Fleshy Tripod. "I'll make some more."
"I think it's because of that great big mixing spoon he has," said Harry The Woman's Best Friend.
"Nonsense!" cried Ben. "It's all down to those special juices you put in."
"No," interjected Stephan The King Of Mexico, "I think it's Hugh's colouring that makes it so good."
"If anything," began Hugh, "it's Stephan's ointment."
"Maybe it's my great big mixing spoon, Harry's special juices, Hugh's colouring and Stephan's ointment that make it great together," said Ben.
"Yes!" agreed the rest of 'em.

That night they all contracted food poisoning. By dawn, there was a large pool of brown vomit streaming down the side of the hill and caking in the sun.
"It was Stephan's ointment," cried Hugh, "that made us sick!"
"My ointment was fine!" screamed Stephan. "It was your stupid colouring."
"No, it was most certainly Harry's horrid juices that made us sick," said Ben.
"It was that dirty spoon of yours, and you know it!" yelled Harry.
"Maybe it was Stephan's ointment, Hugh's colouring, Harry's juices and Ben's spoon that all made you sick," said a greedy tyrant with tits.
They all turned to look at the strange battle-equipped woman.
"Would you like to see my great big cooking spoon?" asked Ben.
"Would you like to see my beautiful colours?" asked Hugh.
"Would you mind if I made some special juice?" asked Harry.
"Would you like to taste my ointment?" asked Stephan.
"No," replied the woman flatly. "I have a battle to attend to."
"Oh," said Ben.
"Oh," said Hugh.
"Oh," said Harry.
"Oh," said Stephan.
"We're in a battle, too," said Ben.
"That's right," said Hugh.
"A great big battle," said Harry.
"A dangerous battle," said Stephan.
"Really?" said the woman. "Who are you fighting?"
"The Tyrants," they said.
"Interesting. What would you say if I said I was one of the Tyrants?" said the greedy tyrant battle-clad woman with tits.
"Well," said Ben, "I'd say: 'wow, what a coincidence'.
"And I'd say: 'oh dear'," said Hugh.
"And then I'd say: 'that's incredible'," said Harry.
"And I would say: 'small world'," said Stephan.
"Well I am one of the Tyrants," said the tyrant.
"Wow, what a coincidence."
"Oh dear."
"That's incredible."
"Small world."
"So what happens now?" asked the tits.
"I was thinking we could all sit around and hold my great big cooking spoon," suggested Ben.
"I think we should all lie down while I splash my colours about like a rainbow," said Hugh.
"I was hoping you would all taste my ointment," said Stephan.
"I had my heart set on sucking the juices out of your Tyrant vagina," said Harry.
There was a pause.
"So no fighting then?" said the woman.
They shrugged.
"In that case, I'll be off. I'm already late for the battle," she said.
"Oh," said all. "Bye."
"Bye. I'll be sure to tell our resident whore about you guys."
She waved and disappeared down the hill.
"Maybe we should have followed her," said Ben. "We are in that battle, after all."
"Let's go that way then," said Harry.

A few hours later, they found themselves at a battle of sorts.
"Well," said Hugh or Ben or Harry or Stephan, "this is it."
They ran down to the battle holding their tents as weapons. The first person they saw was the greedy tyrant with tits.
"Hello," she said as she stabbed Hugh with a spear.
"Hello," she said as she stabbed Stephan with a sword.
"Hello," she said as she stabbed Ben with a pencil.
"Hello," she said as she stabbed Harry with a brick.
As Harry fell towards the ground, he tried to angle himself in such a way so that he could bury his head into the vagina of the tyrant woman. What happened instead was that he stabbed himself in the head with the spear that had initially stabbed Hugh. Suffice to say they all died.

They floated promisingly towards the afterlife.
"Do you believe in God?" asked Ben.
"No. Do you believe in God?" said Hugh.
"No," said Ben.
"Me neither," said Harry and Stephan respectively.
"Oh dear," said Hugh.
Suddenly God appeared.
"I suppose you want to shoot up my arse?" it said.
"No, why should we want to do that?" they asked.
"Because that's how you came here in the first place."
"Well we certainly don't want to go back."
"Oh. Never mind, then. Toodle-oo"
"Bye."
"Oh and one more thing."
"Yes?"
"I think, therefore I Ben-penis."
Good ol' God disappeared.

They started to fall.

Eventually, they landed in a river in a rainforest next to a slab of Solo™ and went to sleep. Someone buried them eventually.