Little, Little Thins in Big Shells

This is something I wrote a while ago and didn't use.

A gathering of, say, seven gathered on a green, daisy-laden hill one morning. One said to one: "Good morning". The other, without interest, agreed. And they, the seven, unpacked and feasted upon their bringings. A seven kilometre high Goddess – quite beautiful, if I do say so myself – uprooted herself from the earth and stood with silent reckoning above the previously calm, alternately peaceful, scene. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, however, there was really no reason for her being (but when has that stopped a God before?) so she politely excused herself. The mostly leering group didn't feel too disappointed, as the Goddess was so big that one could never get the right sense of perspective (or proportion, for that matter) to be properly aroused. So they all made glorious love on the grass.

A few months later, they had succeeded in creating a baby that was unique in that it was the product of seven completely different people. This is where the sense of marvel ended, though, because the baby was a hideous mutation, and, once it reached 3 years old, was bigger then a two foot tall house. The real danger came at age 7 when it reached 600 kilometres in height. Suffice to say, it died soon after, and, in the process, killed a good million people – who weren't very happy anyway.

One of the seven later went on to become a good ol' drug addict. First with speed, then with Satin's semen: Heroin. He/she did the usual stuff: stealing money off friends, selling kidneys, writing heavily nostalgic novels. All incredibly interesting, I know.

One of the seven went on to become dead at 85.

One of the seven went on to publish a great book that nobody bought – or liked. So he/she found herself/himself a pier to live under and mated with a mate of the opposite sex who actually turned out to be of the same sex.

I wasn't watching the remaining four, so I never knew exactly what happened to them. But on the upside, I thought of a joke: why do fish who live in shells never let any other fish into their shells? Because they're Shellfish! Stop me if you've heard this one before.