The Summit of His Long Career

Ben has now reclaimed his throne — for keeps this time. So sturdy are the foundations 'neath his glistening blue circle that it will take at least 100 begging Stephans to even rattle the wind around it. Yes, Stephan, you're back on the soiled second rung. But how? I pretend I hear you cry. Well, Ben simply ignored the obvious course of action — beg for his place back — and instead launched a searing character assassination upon his rival that left no doubt of who the real winner should be. Plus, it was as funny as a non-descript pork sandwich and almost twice as enlightening. So the trophy and the marinated meat platter will be returned to Ben's eager and greasy paws, which have been entertaining themselves innocently in their absence.

And with the formalities over, Ben mounts his stage and raises the two dripping symbols of Hugh's democracy to the heavens.