Genesis

It was on a pale Tuesday in May that the deadly ball first found itself head over heals. A simple two-word comment landed on a thing about people, much to my surprise, and, out of obligation, I decided I would repay the favour. But alas! This was no mere compliment I had received: this was the work of two attention-seeking technophiles, for on their site I found many a person who shared my circumstances, having also received that infamous two-word salute. Yes, I uncovered their ingenious scheme and I, being me, could not sit by idly while this went on. So I sharpened my fingers and unloaded a paragraph of bile upon my captors that dared them to make their presence considerably less vague. And they did:

Buttercup and JOHN-43 said...

You are right Hugh.... you ARE irritating. Firstly, let me say, uh... well no.. can't say thanks really. Was gonna say thanks for posting a nice little comment on my blog. But since you found it apparently amusing to assume that we had some kind of dastardly machine leaving "nice blog ;)))" on people's blogs, I will tell you this. We are simply two people who met online, we are from different countries and to pass the time away while waiting for immigration to get its act together, my husband looks at other people's blogs from time to time. Since we find it nice to receive any comments, we try to do the same. Sometimes all one can say is 'nice blog' so that is all we leave. Malicious? I think you are way off. Rubbing our happiness in other people's faces? You have GOT to be kidding! ...sheesh. Good luck with your blog.

Though previously their acts had been relatively innocent, now, spurned on by my anger, they began to think up a much more damaging plan to inflict upon their whistle-blower. The machine they built to fulfill their orders was so powerful and complex that its construction took over ever aspect of their lives, leaving them no time to fondle and mouth sweet nothings. Injected into this machine was every aspect of that which defined them; in short, they were the machine. And eventually their former existence whittled away to dust, and all that was left of the two was harnessed in a grand web of machinery that convulsed away in the trans-Atlantic residence that once housed unknown lovers.

After flinging misleading advertisements into the virtual hemisphere for a time, the machine decided that expansion would lead to greater damage and thus began work on an army of robots to do its bidding. And so the plague was born in the shape of five million burnt umber servants, whose only goal was to plant seeds of anonymity in the guise of compliments.

Yes, I had a hand in creating the swarm, and for that I apologise, but it would have happened sooner or later, whether by my hand or another's. They were spawned from two infatuated persons who were just looking for an opportunity such as the one I unknowingly supplied.