100th Anniversary Special

Yes, that's right: today is my hundredth year on this site. Since 1905, I have been writing one post a year, and now, five years into the 21st Century, I have reached triple figures. "One post a year?" I hear you cry cynically; well, let me put you at ease. I'm not one of those people who bangs out a two-word post in a matter of seconds once every few days, no; I spend an entire year planning my posts so that, come December time, they are as perfect as I can make them. Roughly speaking, I try to write about one word a day, and that can take anywhere up to eight hours to do. Not many people in this industry would be that considerate. Certainly not a box-haired contemporary of mine (named Tom).

He started his blog in 1906, and since then he's only done four posts — one of which was mine. For some of you — particularly Ben, Anh Tu and Harry — this may be a blessing, but there are people out there who enjoy his right-wing no-nonsense prose, and would appreciate someone who could articulate their abortion concerns. Anh Tu's site also has only four posts, but his posts are slightly longer overall, and they're all in order — plus he regularly mentions fisting. Next up is Harry, whose posts, while riddled with juvenile profanity and sacrilegious defecations of ice-cream, have the added benefit of artwork, which are a welcome, albeit derivative (Picasso, Van Gogh — you name it), addition. Then there's Ben. His site has the advantage of starting the earliest — 1903 — and thus has already built up a solid amount of posts. Even though the updates aren't very frequent, I've placed Ben above the other three because of his enormous penis. And so we come to Stephan. Out of the four, he is only only one who posts semi-regular updates, and, along with standard entries, there are accompanying pictures that add to the experience. His posts consist of exhilaratingly unpunctuated pseudo-stream-of-consciousness accounts of his weekends — with particular reference to drinking and Karaoke — and are often sharply observed. He's less successful when he tries to tackle the political climate of Medieval England, but this doesn't detract from the site as a whole.

Speaking of which, the titles of my two worst posts have the following initials: I.O.T.E.S and F.O.A.L.I.P.T.B.A. But aside from that, I would like to thank you for the days; those sacred days, those endless days you gave me.