Goodbye Baby Black

Our pride and half-joy: Cokacino isn't as unique as we may have thought. It turns out that at least one other person has created the same drink with exactly the same name (pronunciation-wise) — and who knows how many more are lurking out there. It really makes you think. Firstly, about why on Earth anyone else would come up with such a disgusting drink; and secondly about the horrendous fallings of the web.

Because of its wretched accessibility, everyone who wants a few minutes of fame (everyone, in other words) now has the opportunity to do so. And with so many people attempting to find an original voice, original thoughts (remember those?) are being swallowed up by the thousands. Now, before premiering a joke, one must first pay a visit to the folks at Google to see if someone else hasn't already thought of it, and the chances are, they have. Thus it inspires the cunning among us to seek pointed refuge in the wastelands of obscurity — though now the numbers there are so great, that it, too, has turned many a never-will-be into an unintentional plagiarist.

And what can you do to contend with all these original thoughts floating around? Well, you could add self-deprecating disclaimers at the start of your posts, stating that you are fully aware that the following may rip-off something. Of course that's been done too, so then where do you turn? Post-Modernism (or Post-Somthingism). You expand upon your previous attempt by continually making your audience aware of every possible flaw that could be seen in your post, thus covering your back. A reader could, for instance, say: "This is self-indulgent rubbish." but then, after reading a postscript which states that the author also considers it self-indulgent rubbish, the reader would add "Oh, but he admits it. How clever." and such. Soon you would get sections like: "I know this isn't very original, and I know it isn't very original to say this isn't very original..." until, as an internetter would have it, the world explodes.

I've done this a lot in the past: covering my back so comprehensively, that no one could think of any criticism that I haven't already admitted to. It's a good strategy for people who can't take criticism, ironically in the shape of self-criticism. But this sort of thing opens itself to potential hostility as to its very nature, and wouldn't, in all likelihood, ever be beyond scrutiny. It's fun while it lasts.

If there's an original thought out there, I could use it right now.