Bradwriaeth Am Byth

Though I am yet to be dubbed a boob, I certainly felt one yesterday. Dig: I was in the smoke, scratching away the guilty tingles down my back, when the expository creature — a lady, no less — approached and set in motion the series of events I'm now in the process of articulating. She was the first. Her ears, ninety percent covered by black Welsh hair, were worth each and every attempt to engage them (Freud would have muttered "engorged", no doubt). Her mouth, undoctored and pink, was worth tenfold, for it was where those compelling Welsh vowels escaped. Viewed from afar, I think it is, for a lass, the accent you bang on churches for.

She asked for directions.
"I think that's — oh — there-ish." But the accompanying finger's scope rendered this next to useless.
"Oh. Thanks."
"It's about forty steps down that street," interjected Ben, my companion for the occasion. "Hard to miss, really."
"Oh, thanks very much," she said, turning to the gangly, nerveless créme-hunk
"Yes, it's just there," I added limply. But her gaze was gone.
"Perhaps you could show me," she said — to Ben.
"I'm sorry, I don't accept propositions from attractive Welsh strangers," replied Ben, just as I was hoping he wouldn't say anything with wit in it.
She laughed (heaven knows why) and said: "What do you know about Wales and its strangers?"
"I know Mr. Gruffudd's one, and I know Wales is England's New Zealand, as Canada is America's Wales."
"And elephants are the ground's Wales."
They turned and gaped at my addition. I turned away, liking the New Zealand accent too.

A minute later, they were the sung heroes of the White Album's fifteenth track. No one loud enough objected. In a rare moment of malice, I damn near prayed for a semi to flatten that lewd display. Worst of all, I found myself with a pitched waist after craftily obscuring the Ben half with my left hand. It was hard to go home to a bad fridge after that. I mean, Ben knew I had a thing for Welsh women. That was my only avenue of conversation whenever we spoke. The agreement was that I'd take Wales and he'd take everywhere else. That's fucking fair.