Woes from the Deep

"Somewhere out there in the big blue is the girl for you," I said neatly.
Harry crossed his arms and exhaled loudly through his nose.
"Can't you be more specific?" he moped.
"Nope," I answered flatly. "I'm no palm wrangler. All I know is that your current run of ducks will soon seem benign when you've swept them away to make room for the true Mrs. Harry, with whom you'll spawn and spend life."
I slid over to accommodate my wife on the thrown and we intwined.
"I wish I could believe you," said Harry.
"I wish you could too. But the proof is before your eyes."
"Oh, you mean the Es after the Cs?"
"No, I mean this wonderful creature nuzzled up against me. I used to think things were pretty dire on the vagina front, you see, but then, out of that big blue I mentioned earlier, came her and now life's a lovely peach."
"Wait, when was this? I don't remember seeing you with any girls in like... ever."
"Oh, well you haven't seen me with her yet. That won't be for a while. In fact, I haven't even met her yet. But she will be there."
"What, you just have an inkling then?"
"No, it's much more than that. I am completely confident. There's not a doubt in my head that it won't happen. And besides, she's here now."
I leaned over and kissed her left cheek.
"If you say so," said Harry.
"It's true," said my wife. "We will meet somewhere and begin living the wonderful life we're living now."
"Love at first sight, huh?" snapped Harry cynically.
"Something like that," I replied, ignoring his inflection. "And the same thing will happen to you."
"Well, I hope so," said Harry doubtfully, "but for now I'll have to be satisfied with a sniff of the waste paper bin."

And with that he left. I shrugged sympathetically and handed my love a spritz.