Tom Rises

A flood of posts from no-one's land has insured Tom's promotion from measly fourth to tender third, and dropped poor old Stephan (once in proud possession of the fabled meat platter and marble-substitute trophy) down a rung. Waiting for him in Tom's old and brief housing is a battered vinyl copy of The Return Of Bruno — with "Youngblood" rendered virtually unplayable from overuse — and a rotting steak sandwich wedged between the pillows on the couch. Tom on the other hand, has endless nights of Gold to look forward to, with only a makeshift fort Stephan built out of furniture offering light relief.

Above Thomas, the silver resident has become complacent in his newfound fame, and has taken to sipping sugary, blasphemous versions of England's favourite non-alcoholic beverage on his glorious balcony overlooking the scum below. Occasionally he joins the exhalation of above for a game of Croquet-Cluedo™ (a fusion whose rules are much too complicated to explain here) on the high-rise lawn, usually against an early morning backdrop of green fields and rising suns (though evening games are growing more popular with the pair of late).

Below, Anh Tu remains in his coma and Harry continues to swim through the waste of his making.